Storytime with Catalina
Recently I received a copy of the book, “Dirty Girls,” from Seal Press to review.
I’m an introduction junkie. I know that some readers, especially readers of erotica, tend to jump right to the “good part”, but in this case the introduction is as interesting as the smut. The introduction asserts that being a nice girl and a dirty girl aren’t conflicting identities. If you are a woman that has grown up in the United States, then you know that from the time we are in middle school we all knew how important it was to protect our reputations. Your older sister, your Mom, your peer group - from all around there was a message to choose a side: Nice Girl or Dirty Girl. Many of my friends and I grew up believing not only did we have our Nice Girl reputations to protect, but as we grew up and went off to college, we adopted feminist dogma that the ojectification of women was wrong in all cases and sadomasochism is really just a fancy way of saying domestic violence. Even as adults, many women believe they have to make a choice between being the perfect wife and mother at the PTA Club or being the Desperate Housewife at the Country Club.
Rachel Kramer Bussel points out that this isn’t a binary choice, but, in fact we can have it both ways. As modern women and as feminists, we can allow ourselves to be just as dirty as those “dirty girls” without losing the good girl reputation we’ve so desperately tried to maintain to the outside world.
Indeed, those of us who are teachers, librarians, soccer moms, bank tellers, and scientists are just as perverted, kinky, and dirty as they come. We may just be better at compartmentalizing that aspect of our sexuality. Dirty Girls gives us good girls an opportunity to unleash our inner sluts and fantasize about that which we might otherwise condemn (objectification of women and sadism/masochism for example). It is the intersection where dirty and sweet meet.
Between the time I received the book and the time I finished reading the book I twitter-met Rachel Kramer Bussel, the editor of the anthology of erotica written by 27 very dirty girls. I had the opportunity to ask her a few questions about the book that I’ll share before I give you my thoughts.
At the time when you wrote the introduction to the book, you said that your self-proclaimed motto was “I can be dirty and sweet at the same time”. Do people who know you as the Cupcake Blog Lady know that you are also the editor of an anthology of erotica written by and for dirty girls? Are the two girls (dirty and sweet) integrated or very separate in your daily life?
Unfortunately, some of the readers of my cupcake blog are not so thrilled with the erotica side of my work. I don’t publicize it there but there is a link, and some people are offended. I just see them as two sides of who I am and what I’m passionate about. I think it’s really an artificial divide in our culture - sex, and then “real life.” But of course everyone has some kind of sex, it’s just not talked about.
It’s funny because even though my full-time job is as Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations (http://www.variations.com), they are actually really separate. I don’t get to have sex very often (my boyfriend lives across the country from me) and when I’m working, whether it’s editing or writing, usually I’m in “work mode.” Sometimes I do get turned on by what I’m reading or writing, but mostly it’s an intellectual, brainy turn-on.
I think working so much with sex writing forces me to recognize where one side starts and one ends. I used to blur them way too much, and now I really value getting to have this creative outlet that’s PG and fun and simple and then the sexual stuff separate. I have 2 Flickr accounts, 2 YouTube accounts - but I don’t mind. I love that some people know me as the cupcake girl, and some know me as the smut girl, and then there’s, well, “the real me” that my friends know.
How did you come across the stories that were included in the anthology? Were they submitted to you or did you seek them out? Are they representative of any particular style or genre of erotica?
I wrote to my favorite female erotica writers and asked them for their hottest stories for Dirty Girls, the ones that maybe crossed boundaries or broke taboos or were simply steamy. I wanted as wide a range as possible to reflect the many, many ways women fantasize and eroticize and have sex. Obviously, 27 stories can’t do justice to all of that, but I think there’s a range from romantic and sweet to down and dirty and kinky, sex with strangers, sexual role models, heterosexual, bisexual and lesbian stories, happy and light stories and darker, more intense stories. Many of the stories are challenging; they don’t all have a happy ending, but I do think they’re all erotic in their own way. And I truly think the book is worth its cover price for Marie Lyn Bernard’s story “Fucking Around” alone. She really broke new ground with this map of sexual conquests, bringing humor and heartbreak and sex and romance all into one amazing story. I’m so proud of Dirty Girls but I do want to clarify one thing - the publisher had me put “erotica for women” as the subtitle (which I’d originally called “erotica by women”) and I totally think men as well as women can enjoy Dirty Girls (the book and the people)!
Your own work is there, “Icy Hot,” and so of course it was the first story I had to read, which left me wondering… did it really happen? Even if you have to lie to me, did it really happen?
Now I’ve have learned to write fiction, so no, this one didn’t happen, but it was fun to think about! Back when I started most of my stories were true or largely true. I feel prouder of the fictional stories, though I also think it’s a testament to very hot real sex when you can take a true event and turn it into erotica; that’s clearly about much more than just narrating the details. I had written it for an anthology about sex with strangers, which I didn’t get into, so I decided to put it in Dirty Girls. Also, even when it’s fiction, there’s always some very true and honest element in the work; I think I have a fantasy about going off with a complete stranger and not getting their name and fucking them silly, but I’m not sure if I’d actually do it (though I never say never). We’re filming a book trailer for it soon and I’m going to “act out” some of the icy parts.
So now that we have permission to tap into our darker side, the erotic tales can just wash over you, like a cascade of kink.
I read anthologies out of order. I always have, I always will. In this case, I went straight to Icy Hot, the short story by Rachel Kramer Bussel to see where her filthy mind would lead. I sat in my physician’s office reading this delicious story about a hot summer day, a hot stranger, and a the last block of ice at the corner market. I love how the story builds - it’s not just a stereotypical erotic fiction story - “So the other day I was in the shower when all of a sudden…” No, in fact, it starts out innocently enough, a girl who is waiting in line for the coveted last chunk of ice on a hot day only to be usurped by an incredibly attractive man who gets to it first. Their banter and exchange is subtly sexy, flirty, fun. The resultant negotiation seems to work out as a win-win for both of them. Read it, yourself! 
I went home and read it to Marky that night!
I will highlight my favorite story, It’s called Like A Good Girl by Alison Tyler. Daddy/Little girl fantasies can be really taboo for women, especially in a culture where we are hypersensitive to pedophilia. But this story doesn’t cross that line into icky. There’s never a hint of pedophilia, just a D/s dynamic that is caring, yet stern, the way a Daddy should be. It’s very tender and intimate in many ways. I don’t want to spoil the story for you, but I love the discussion about whether or not she should wear her collar to work, and along with the breath play, I loved the way that he forces her to confess her dirtiest fantasies to him. It ends with, “You’ll go to sleep with my cock in your mouth,” he said, his voice so deep. “Like a pacifier. Suck it sweetly, girl, and I’ll take care of you in the morning. Suck it like a good girl should”. Erotica doesn’t often make my panties wet, but this one did! And make the leap, my intelligent reader, to how I ended up going to sleep that night.
Finally, the last story I’ll highlight here is the “Cheesy Boots” by L. Elise Bland. The sub and the little girl in me loved reading “Like A Good Girl” and the Domme in me likes “Cheesy Boots” a lot. In a nutshell, a professional domme learns of a new client’s penchant for mixing his food fetish, trampling fetish, and bootlicking fetish. The result is a very interesting scene that is unpredictable. I thought it was going to go one direction and then it went a totally different way. I like that in a story! The other thing that stands out in mind, because I am a Domme, is her self-assessed lack of control and her recomposure. In a lot of FemDom erotica I read, the Dominatrix comes off as being nasty and sadistic. In this case it’s really much more a matter of control and mindfuck. It’s much more up my alley. So I personally give it a thumbs up. It doesn’t matter really, on which side of the fence you sit on, this story is hot from both sides.
I’d like to recap every one of the stories here, but this post would get mighty long. These are the three that I chose because I think they represent the wide variety of erotica that is found in the book. Nobody wants to read the same story written 27 different ways. These are all very distinct, all very well-written, and I think make for a nice month’s worth of nighttime reading.
My only criticism of the book aligns with Rachel’s own observation that while it’s marketed as a book of erotica for women, I know just as many men who would enjoy this book. In fact, Marky read this book with me at night - each story, one by one, I read aloud to him in bed. It was a really great way for both of us to shift gears from being immersed in erotica and erotic art all day to enjoying it for the purpose for which it was intended: to turn us on! Reading a story out loud to your partner requires time and attention, two things that couples really need more of, wouldn’t you agree? It became a playful game. As I read out loud we went from sitting in bed together, to touching, to sometimes me still reading it to him (trying really hard to hold it together enough to read it to him) as he went down on me. (Talk about the epitome of dirty and sweet intersecting!)
A lot of readers ask me for advice on how to ramp up your sex life. Here is some good advice: Buy a good erotica book, Dirty Girls, and read it to your partner. It does not matter the gender of your partner - you will both enjoy it and the inevitable result will be heightened arousal and increased intimacy.
As the introduction implies, we (women) can be outwardly sweet and yet internally filthy at the same time. Much like our sweet and filthy selves, Dirty Girls looks sweet and “erotic” on the outside, but within it lie page after page of smut. Good smut.
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